Challenges with having twins
Pregnancy can be a little daunting when you are having twins and it can add anxiety, fear and an uncomfortable physical state. Having two babies at the one time can be beneficial but there will also be some side effects. When you are pregnant with twins some of the symptoms of pregnancy are magnified, and there can be complications with a twin pregnancy.
Newborn babies are likely to keep odd hours therefore having two will mean that sleep with be scare for parents of twins. Having little sleep means added stress, anxiety and strain to parents, however you will develop a routine and learn the best ways to cope with multiple babies. As parents of newborn twins you will learn to survive on little sleep and adapt to the sleeping and feeding schedule of twins. Your twins will also learn to develop a better sleep pattern as they grow and they will be able to identify between day and night time sleep.
One on One Time with each of your Twins
From the moment my twins were born I wanted to give them both all the love and attention I could. As a mother of twins I sometimes felt that I was not giving each of my children my undivided attention as my love and affection had to be shared. As your twins develop their identities and grow, it is very important to give them some one on one time when you can. Many mothers feel guilty about the limited amount of time they can give each child so just do the best you can. This is one of the hardest things about twins.
Right from the start you will have challenges, as your twins need to be feed, changed and burped at the same time and it is not easy as you only have one pair of hands, but you will manage, and if you can get help from your family that will make things a little easier too. Once your twins start to crawl and walk the challenges will continue as they will be inquisitive and want to explore. The more your twins grow the more they will start to enjoy different interests, different sports and have different schedules and it can be overwhelming.
My sons are in separate classes and when we have parent teacher night there is often conflict with schedules. When they have special events at school in each classroom, you cannot be in two places at once however you can often work with the teachers to share your time between classrooms or request back to back time slots for meetings.
Competition and squabbling
One of my biggest challenges with my twin sons is the squabbling and competition. Whilst I think a little competition is very healthy and the occasional squabble is normal this can become intense and it can be stressful at times. You often feel like a referee and it is not alway easy to choose a side or solve the problem. Everyone assumes that twins are best buddies and at times they are but you will have your fair share or squabbling with twins.
Being Fair and Equal
As parents we always do our best to ensure that our children are treated equally. There is already so much competition between twins, you want to make sure that they have equal access to resources and opportunities. It can be a challenge to ensure that they feel that neither one is favored over the other. It can become an exhausting effort, ensuring that everyone gets to take their turn, receives a fair shake and an equal portion. And no matter how hard parents try, no one is perfect, so just do the best that you can and I am sure it will be enough.
Children are adorable, cute and very loving but they can also be very messy and wreak havoc, especially when there are two. When your twins are together they seem to fuel each other and their messes can be monumental. Try to teach them to pick up their toys when they are done playing or restrict the play area to a certain room. It is ok to have a mess and let your children play and have fun, but at the end of play time, cleaning up should be a part of the routine.
When my sons were babies everywhere we went people recognized them as a set of twins and they got a lot of attention. Many people compared them and questioned their differences and they still do today at 7 years old. Even though your twins are born as a set they are also individuals. As a mother I always do my best to encourage their individuality and sometimes I fall into the mistake of comparing them. I have to remind myself that they are individuals and they have different interests, habits and personalities. It is your choice as to whether you dress them alike, keep them in the same class or separate them, but always encourage them to have their own friends and support their choices in sports. Raising twins as individuals can be hard but as they grow it gets easier.
As twins many special occasions will be shared, many tough times will be shared and many challenging times will be shared.
When my twins were potty training I was trying to achieve this goal at the same time which is ok, but you have to remember that each child is different and one may learn quicker than the other. You cannot hold each child to the same standard because they are different so a lot of patience will be required.
There will be other simultaneous situations like teething, homework, puberty, teen driving, birthdays, dating etc. It can be difficult at times to appreciate individual moments and you may need to address each child individually, differentiate your approach, and find a solution.
Some schools or daycare’s do not allow twins or multiples to be in the same class and some will ask you what your preference is. It may be a rule for the state or just a rule for the facility that all multiples are to be separated, so if you do want your twins to be in the same class you will need to understand what the rules are upfront because they don’t tend to be too flexible on this matter.
We have been in several different states and I have heard many different opinions on keeping twins together or separating them and I believe that as parents you will make the right choice for your children.